


Poker Night

by Patogrrerach (D4v33dCh357nU7)



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Don't Even Know, I Tried
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-13
Updated: 2019-05-13
Packaged: 2020-03-02 19:10:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18817216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/D4v33dCh357nU7/pseuds/Patogrrerach
Summary: It's miraculous poker night





	Poker Night

**Author's Note:**

> This was written by someone who only vaguely knows the rules of poker.

Chat Noir looked at the cards in his hand. Then he looked at the five expectant, masked faces seated near him.

“Well??” demanded Ladybug.

“I . . .” Chat looked at his cards a final time, “. . . fold?”

“God damn it!” said Ladybug, smashing her hands against the circular table.

Hawk Moth laughed as he scraped his winnings across the table. “That means the pot goes to me.”

“Expertly done, sir,” said Mayura, offering a light applause.

Ladybug snatched Chat's cards from the table and rifled through them. “Why the hell would you fold? This is a royal flush!!”

“Wait, is that a good thing?” wondered Chat.

Hawk Moth snickered. “It seems your partner's out of chips, Ladybug. Shall we call it a night?”

“This isn't a team game, and he's not my partner. Besides, Carapace and I still have plenty of chips left.”

“Actually,” said Mayura, gesturing to Rena Rouge and Carapace, “those two have been playing Gin Rummy for a while now.”

Rena shrugged. “Poker’s for scrubs.”

“Just deal the damn cards,” seethed Ladybug.

Mayura picked up the deck and began passing out cards.

“You know, Ladybug,” said Hawk Moth, “playing with chips strikes me as a tad juvenile.” He plucked a wad of bills from his wallet. “Why don't we play for higher stakes?”

“Not this again,” grumbled Ladybug, “. . . rich asshole prick. Chat, can you help me out here?”

Chat Noir had already gathered bills of his own, and placed them on the table on Ladybug's behalf. “I'll pay you back,” she muttered, “. . . once I milk this sleazebag for everything he's worth.”

Mayura dealt Hawk Moth, Ladybug, and herself two cards each.

Ladybug lifted the cards to her eyes. She could feel the color drain from her face as she saw her hand. “ . . . A-all in,” she stuttered.

“I thought ladybugs were supposed to be lucky,” Hawk Moth sneered, “but a bluff like that . . .” He chuckled some more as he and Mayura compared hands.

“This isn't a team game!” reminded Ladybug.

Hawk Moth shot her an irritated glance. “Fold,” he directed his partner.

“Yes, sir” said Mayura, and set her cards on the table.

Hawk Moth leaned over the table and looked into Ladybug's eyes. She flinched slightly.

“I can see right through you. You'll never beat me; you lack conviction,” he asserted.

“Are you going to stroke your ego all night, or are you going to play the game?” Ladybug demanded.

“All in,” Hawk Moth said with a smile.

Just then, Queen Bee poked her head into the room. “Hey you guys, can I play too?”

“Get out of here Queen Bee. There are only six chairs,” groaned Ladybug.

“But——”

“Now is not the time, Chloe!”

“You never let me play poker,” sniffled Queen Bee.

“Poker?” said both Hawk Moth and Chat Noir at the same time, “I hardly know her!”

Ladybug forcefully smacked her hand against her forehead.

“Sir, I must request that you keep word play to a standard becoming of your status.”

“Can we just get back to the game?!” insisted Ladybug. “Because it seems like I'm the only one taking this seriously. Back me up here, Rena.”

“Go fish.”

“Wait I thought this was poker,” puzzled Chat.

“As I recall,” said Carapace,” you threatened to rescind our miraculous if we didn't accompany you to poker night.”

“It's a game for suckers,” said Rena.

Hawk Moth stood up. “Seeing as how we're the only ones left in the game, I propose a raise in the stakes.” He pulled out a large photograph. “I wager my signed limited edition photograph of Adrien.”

Ladybug nodded. “I see you are a man of culture. I, too, wager the limited spring edition signed Adrien headshot.”

Hawk Moth put a retainer on the table. “I bet Adrien's retainer from when he was eight.”

“I wager a lock of Adrien's hair.”

“Why do you have these??” said Chat.

Ladybug slammed her first against the table for dramatic emphasis. “I wager . . . Chat Noir's miraculous.”

“Wait what?!”

“Deal!” said Hawk Moth.

Ladybug flipped over her cards. Hawk Moth did the same. For a moment, there was silence.

“Damn . . .” muttered Ladybug. “He called my bluff.

“Well, Chat, it's only fair that give Hawk Moth your miraculous. No need to be a sore loser.”

“T-this can't be legal!” Chat sputtered.

“Alright, Team Miraculous,” said Ladybug, “let's all meet up on Monday for patrol—except Chat, of course.”

Ladybug, Rena Rouge, and Carapace all sauntered to the exit. Ladybug turned to Hawk Moth and Mayura. “Same time next week?” she asked.

Hawk Moth smiled, content with his victory. “Don't bet on it.”


End file.
